


I Should Be Honest

by flamezcl



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Dirty Jokes, Fluff, I hate tagging, M/M, Other, and that's about it, i love spideypool, what else
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 19:24:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11653113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flamezcl/pseuds/flamezcl
Summary: Peter loses May blah blah. Peter meets Wade blah blah. Superfamily angry blah blah."What. The fuck. Was that?"SUMMARIES ARE FUCKING HARD, WADE."That's not the only thing that's hard!"...[{She seems to be speechless.}]Are you fucking with me?"I mean I'd rather be fucking Peter-Yup, time to end this. Please read.[{"She's desperate."}]





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> blEH.

Peter hated thunderstorms. 

 

He hated them because that’s the night he was taken away from his remaining family. That’s the night he was taken away from his Aunt May. He was taken away with people he didn’t even know. 

 

He remembered so clearly the way she looked when she was talking to the people on the other end of the phone. He remembered her tears as they fell down her face. He remembered tugging on her pants and saying it was going to be okay Aunt May and don’t cry. 

 

He remembered her picking up his 4 year old self and hugging her tightly to her chest. 

 

“Oh, Peter,” she whispered, “Know that I love you very much, no matter what happens tonight. Alright?”

 

He remembered starting to cry himself, it sounded like she was saying goodbye. He didn’t want her to leave. He needed his Aunt May. 

 

He remembered the wind slapping the windows, the glass creaking under the pressure. He remembered the knock on the door, the sound pounding throughout the entire house. 

 

He was carried to the door with his Aunt May before being set down so she could answer the door. He remembered the man in all black reaching for him, but he slapped the hand away. He didn’t want anybody touching him. He just wanted his Aunt May. 

 

He started to cry when more men appeared and grabbed him from the ground. He screeched and thrashed, but no one cared that he didn’t want to go. No one but Aunt May. 

 

Oh, his poor dear Aunt. 

 

He never saw her again.

  
  
  


\---.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.---

  
  
  
  


Peter shuddered as the thunder rattled the Stark Tower. A lightning bolt came close to the building and the poor brunette shrieked in fear. Of course, his mother hen came running over to him, making sure that he was okay. 

 

“Peter, are you okay? You’re not hurt, are you? How about I put on some music for you.”

 

The young teen smiled, “Thanks, Pops. But there’s no need. I’m fine. Just a little freaked by the thunder, I guess.”

 

The blonde ran a hand through his perfect fucking hair-

 

{The author wishes she had hair like that hunk of a man}

 

[Shut up! We’re not even introduced in the story yet.]

 

{Whoops.}

 

-and sighed, “You always were afraid of thunderstorms. What if I made cookies?”

 

Peter grinned, “Would you be so kind as to do that for me, Pops?”

 

Steve smiled sweetly, “Of course, honey.”

 

The supersoldier went to work immediately and preheated the oven. Meanwhile, Peter was left in the living room with his thoughts swirling around him. Lately, he had been dreaming about his Aunt May, and it was causing him to have some serious insomnia. But this thunderstorm made it a thousand times worse. Every memory came back to him, every tear, every scream. 

 

Everything. 

 

“-er. Peter!”

 

The young teen looked up, and Steve stood in front of him with a worried look, “Are you okay, sweetheart? You seemed to be lost in thought.” 

 

Peter gave a sheepish look, “Sorry, Pops. I’m fine, I was just thinking.”

 

The sweet, caring look melted Peter’s heart and he looked his dad in the eyes, “I promise, Pops, I’m okay. Really.”

 

Steve nodded, “Just making sure, I don’t want anything bad happening to you. Now, are you ready for some cookies?”

 

{That sure was quick.}

 

[YELLOW.]

 

The brunette jumped up from his seat on the couch and ran into the kitchen where a plate of steaming cookies was waiting for him. He loved his dad’s cookies. They say grandma’s cookies are the best, but his dad’s homemade cookies give him life. 

 

Peter moaned-

 

{Hehe}

 

[Yellow, calm your tits. We’re about to be introduced. Just hold it in a little longer.]

 

{Hey! I-}

 

[Zip it!]

 

-as he tasted the delicious cookie when it melted on his taste buds, “This is literally perfection, Pops.”

 

Steve smiled and popped a cookie into his mouth, “I’m glad you think so, Peter.”

 

The leader of the Avengers grabbed Peter for a hug and embraced him tightly, “I love you so much, sweetie. I hate seeing you sad, or scared. Oh, I just want to care and protect you. I want to keep you away from the dangers of this world. Please, just promise me, promise me that you’ll stay away from danger. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you while I wasn’t there with you.”

 

Peter hugged his dad just as tight, “Oh, Papa. I promise.”

 

The young teen felt something wet drop on the back of his shirt, “Pops?”

 

The brunette pulled back to look at his dad’s face to find the other man crying, silent tears falling from the corners of his eyes, “Pops! Are you okay?”

 

“I….I haven’t heard you call me “papa” since we first got you. It-it just struck a chord within me, that’s all,” Steve sniffled. 

 

Peter planted a kiss on his dad’s cheek, “Oh, Pops. Don’t feel sad. I don’t like seeing you sad. I guess I know how you feel.”

 

Steve chuckled, “Yeah, c’mon, let’s eat the rest of these cookies. Hurry, before Tony comes back.”

 

“What do you mean, “before Tony comes back”?” a voice startled the father and son.

 

The two turned around and the blonde chuckled nervously, “Nothing, honeybunch. Just, uh…”

 

Steve never was good at lying.

 

Tony looked behind the two of them and saw the plate of cookies, “Hey! You were gonna eat those without me!”

 

Steve smiled sheepishly, “Nooooo.”

 

“You jerk!”

 

Tony charged towards the taller male and Steve gave a small shriek before running around the kitchen to escape Tony. The two really believed they were still teenagers. It was pretty amusing. Especially to the forgotten brunette who was steadily eating through the plate of brown deliciousness.

 

God, he loved his family.

  
  
  
  


\---.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.---

  
  
  
  


Wade sat on top of a random building’s rooftop, his legs swinging over the side as he watched the people of New York City. Just because there was a thunderstorm, didn’t mean that he couldn’t come outside and just enjoy it. 

 

{Enjoy what? Lightning that might strike our ass? Kinky.}

 

[Can you really believe that there’s a kink about electrocution?]

 

{*gasp* Are you kinkshaming? How dare you!}

 

Wade rolled his eyes as the two thought boxes started bickering with one another. They always seemed to do that, and that’s just one thing Wade had to live with. Though, it could get really fucking annoying. 

 

{Who you calling annoying? Bitch I’m a fucking queen!}

 

[Could you not? You’re not in any shape or form a female]

 

{We’d have amazing tits.}

 

“Amen to that,” Wade said to himself. 

 

He chowed down on his now cold taco but enjoyed it nonetheless. 

 

{Ew.}

 

“Don’t you even dare. Tacos in any shape or form are beautiful and delicious.”

 

{Even when plastered against the ass of the largest, smelliest, and dirtiest man alive?}

 

[I’d really reconsider my options]

 

Wade crinkled his nose in disgust, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

 

{EVeRyTHiNG}

 

[Apparently.]

 

Wade sighed, finished his taco, and leapt off the building, but landed with grace. He had nowhere to go, no place to stay. He was having an existential crisis.

 

{What are you, Dan Howell?}

 

[I ship Danthony.]

 

{What? What about Phan?}

 

[I’m torn…]

 

“Could you two shut up for one second?”

 

The voices suddenly grew silent and Wade stood there, thinking to himself. What would he do now? He has enough money to buy his own apartment, but he’s lazy as fuck, so that’s not an option. Maybe he could room with someone.

 

[What about Spidey?]

 

{Trying to further the plot, I see.}

 

“That’s actually a pretty good fucking idea. Maybe he’ll let us crash at his place, at least for a while.”

 

And with that said, Wade started the search for the friendly, neighborhood Spiderman.


	2. Let's Be Roommates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I GET SO FUCKING HAPPY WHEN PEOPLE LIEK MY STORIES.
> 
> {CALM.}
> 
> [DOWN.]
> 
> hehehehehehehehhehehHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH

Peter laid in his bed, checking his phone. He had a few texts from his dads. The two of them were just checking on Peter, making sure that their little boy was okay. They had gone out on a date night, and that meant it was time to let the Spiderman suit breathe a little. 

 

The brunette opened his closet and grabbed his suit from on top of the highest shelf. He quickly slipped into the spandex, opened the window, and took off into the night. He spotted a man in completely black running into an alley while clutching a purse. Peter narrowed his eyes through the mask and swung towards the man.  

 

The teen landed right behind the criminal and spoke, “You know, I’m not sure that that’s yours. How about you give it back to its rightful owner?”

 

The man practically shit himself as he heard the famous voice that belonged to the superhero, Spiderman, “Uh, I-I mean. J-just I really need the money! Please!”

 

Peter shook his head, “Then how about getting a job? It’s not right to just steal from other people.”

 

The man sneered all of a sudden, “And how would you know? It’s not like you have a hard life! All you have to do is stop criminals and shit. You wouldn’t know what hardship was.”

 

The brunette shook with rage, but kept calm, “Really? Well, I guess you can say that to the cops that are about to come in a few moments.”

 

The criminal gasped, “No! I’m not going back to jail!”

 

The scumbag tried to run around Peter, but he quickly webbed the man to the wall, trapping him until the police showed up, “Good luck in prison!” he shouted before swinging up on the rooftop of a nearby building. 

 

He sighed and rubbed his temple, he already felt a headache coming on. 

 

“Oh, fucking finally! I’ve been looking for you everywhere Spidey! I think a full 24 hours now. Who knew it’d be so hard to find a superhero these days!”

 

Peter froze. He knew that voice. 

 

He slowly turned around and saw the one and only merc with a mouth standing there with his hands on his hips, “Deadpool.”

 

Deadpool put a hand on his chest and seemed offended, “Jeez, Spidey! I thought we were buddies. You don’t have to speak my name with such bitterness. I thought you were supposed to be friendly…” he paused, “So what? It’s in his title. Duh...You know what, fuck you! Why can’t you just shut up!”

 

Peter raised an eyebrow through his suit, “You done?”

 

Deadpool came out of his trance, “What? Oh yeah. Hey, sweet cheeks, I had a question.”

 

Peter groaned, “What now?”

 

Deadpool grinned beneath his mask, “How about I room with you, huh? You won’t regret it, I promise! I just need somewhere to stay for a few days until I buy an apartment...Shut up! I’ll buy one...some day. I know I said I was too lazy, but I don’t want to be an unwelcome guest!”

 

Peter blinked rapidly. Did he just hear right? The Deadpool wanted to stay at his place. The one who kills people for a living. The one who’s literally insane. Peter didn’t think so.

 

“Uh, Deadpool,” Peter interrupted, “Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I’m not gonna house a psycho killer.”

 

Deadpool looked heartbroken, or at least it seemed like it through the mask, “Please, Spidey! I’ll give up killing for the time I’m staying. I’ll do house cleaning, I’ll be very quiet, I’ll do anything, just please! Let me stay!”

 

Peter sighed and closed his eyes. He couldn’t believe this was happening. But he just couldn’t say no for some reason. 

 

{Plot.}

 

[It’s time to stop-]

 

{Where are your parents?}

 

Peter crossed his arms, “Fine. But I have some ground rules that you better follow!”

 

Deadpool nodded eagerly, “Of course, sweetums!”

 

“First rule,” Peter started, “No nicknames!” At that, Deadpool groaned loudly, “Unless you want to be homeless?”

 

“No, I’ll follow the rules,” Deadpool said pretty dejectedly.

 

“Second rule, no noise. At all. I live in the Stark Tower and I don’t need Tony and Steve asking me what is all that noise up in my room. Third rule, I don’t want to see  _ any  _ mess in my room. That includes your guns and ammo and whatever else. You’re going to have to find a place to store those. And the last rule, while you stay in my room, you cannot, and I repeat can  _ not _ kill. If I find out that you killed even one person, you’re out.”

 

Once Peter finished his rant, Deadpool looked more and more tired with each rule, “Okay, fine, Spidey. I promise to follow those rules ‘til the day I die, or at least until I move out.”

 

“Good. Now follow me.”

  
  
  


\---.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.---

  
  
  
  


Oh my god, Spidey is actually letting us stay with him! I wonder what his room looks like. It’s probably large as shit knowing that it’s the Stark Tower.

 

{Damn right.} 

 

[He didn’t look too happy when we asked to room with him.]

 

{I mean, I wouldn’t want a fucking psycho in my room either. Y’know, I kinda wonder how old this kid actually is. What if he’s like 14 or some shit?}

 

“That would literally suck ass.”

 

“What?”

 

Wade didn’t know he had spoken that aloud and was now looking at a confused spider, “Oh, nothing. Just thinking.”

 

{Fucking dumbass.}

 

[Anyways, back to the matter at hand. I don’t think that with an ass like that, he could be 14. At least 16.}

 

{THAT’S NOT ANY BETTER.}

 

[Beggars can’t be choosers.]

 

Wade shook his head. His thought boxes now brought on new images that he didn’t want to picture. He didn’t want his Spidey to be some young as teen. Then they couldn’t have sex, and that would actually be fucking shit. 

 

{You a stupid hoe. You a, you a stupid hoe.}

 

[We really need to stop listening to Nicki.]

 

{Bitch, she is my muthafucking queen!}

 

[See what I mean?]

 

“-ool. DEADPOOL!”

 

“Huh?” Wade looked up. 

 

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now. Jeez, what were you even thinking about?” Spiderman huffed.

 

“Nicki Minaj.”

 

Spiderman put his hands on his hips, “Y’know what? I’m not gonna question it. Anyways, hop on. I’ll take you to Stark Tower.”

 

Wade nodded and hopped onto the back of the lithe spider, “God, Deadpool! You weigh like 300 pounds.”

 

Deadpool yelled, “I am not! I’m only like 210 pounds and 80% of that is muscle!”

 

“Yeah, right.”

  
  
  


\-----

Time skippy

 

{Yeah, because the author’s lazy as fuck to write a cute and fluffy scene between the two. Most likely involving our dick grinding against the back of Spiderman’s lower back, dangerously close to his ass, and-.}

 

Yup, continue.

\-----

  
  
  
  


They finally arrived in front of Stark Tower and Spiderman opened the window leading into his room. The two landed on the plush floor of the superhero’s room, and Wade being the little shit he was, faceplanted into Peter’s (A/N: I’m tired of saying Spiderman and Deadpool.) bed.

 

{Lazy.}

 

[Shit.]

 

Wade groaned, “So, Spidey. You don’t mind if I just crash here, do you?”

 

Peter turned around to answer the masked man, but found the mercenary already knocked out. 

 

{Smooth as.}

 

[Fucking butter.]

 

Wade fell asleep thinking about how he didn’t want to fuck butter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you. Kudos. Comments. Please. Good day/Night. Idgaf.
> 
> {Are you gonna do that every time?}
> 
> Prob.
> 
> [Don't.]

**Author's Note:**

> kudos blah. comment blah. good day blah. 
> 
> "You didn't even try."
> 
> Shut up. 
> 
> [She seems to be pretty fucked up.]
> 
> {More than us?}
> 
> "Somehow this small chapter must have drained her. Lol, what a fucking scrub."
> 
> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


End file.
